Glimmers

A few weeks ago I stumbled across the term glimmers. We have all heard about moments, how a well designed house can create a moment, or sitting on the porch talking can create a moment with your family. A glimmer is a gift from the universe, your higher power. A glimmer should inspire, sooth, and provide comfort. They are completely unexpected. To find glimmers, you simply have to have an open heart, and be aware of the world around you.

My days are hectic. When the year first started, my days were long, and slow. There were moments of complete despair. Yet no matter how hard things got, no matter how close to the bottom I got, I held fast to my decision to move and start a better life for my daughter and I. I made the decision in December to stop chasing the dollar, and to focus 100% of my energy on my dreams and passions.

I knew that to achieve what I wanted, I had to change. I had to ask myself difficult questions, and no matter how ugly the answer, accept it, live with it, and then do the work I needed to do to create a positive change. Let me tell you, I was terrified. I had so much work to do. I had hit rock bottom, and at one point, lost the will to keep living. For those who know me, you know this is not who I am. I also had to accept that I had a lot of trauma I had never acknowledged, and because of this, I had never dealt with.

A million gallons of tears and sweat later, I am in a place I had not quite fully dared to believe I would ever achieve. And yet, I was determined to grow. If I am being completely honest, my goal was to heal, I was not happy with the person I was. I may have looked confident, but I was anything but confident. I had no inner peace, lacked confidence, and had no sense of self-worth or self-value. Looking at the list of personal repairs, I was overwhelmed, but I knew I could do it. I buckled down and worked on one thing at a time. I created a strong morning and evening routine. I scaled back, ended several relationships, and established boundaries.

No matter how many setbacks I encountered, I was determined to get back on track, to heal, to become the best version of myself. Falls came, losses happened, and even more heartbreak ensued. Slowly the good started to outweigh the bad. My vibrations rose, and my mindset slowly started to stay in the positive. And that is when the glimmers started to happen.

Throughout my workday, I take my dogs on several walks. Sometimes the walks are for them, and some are for me. The walks are where I find the clarity needed to open myself to the answers. Selena has become my walk partner. No matter how many walks we have been on, I can turn to her and know that she will always be up for one more walk. It was on one of our many calming walks that I caught my first glimmer.

Glimmers, for me, are beautiful flowers, Raffy plopping down with a laugh and inviting me to just feel the wind, or Selena chasing a grasshopper. These moments remind me of the absolute beauty we are surrounded by, the beauty of innocence, and the value of laughing. The glimmers have brought me closer to my dogs, shifted my perspective, and taught me more than I could ever write. As fall slowly comes, I hope you each experience glimmers.

Sara Orellana lives in Oklahoma City and writes a weekly column for The Lawton Constitution.