Father testifies in trial of death of his 3-year-old daughter

A father on trial for causing the death of his daughter, 3, in 2019 took the stand in his defense Thursday.

Henry Clarence Lilly III, 54, is on trial in Comanche County District Judge Jay Walker’s courtroom where he’s charged with a count of first-degree manslaughter in the death of his daughter, “Baby Beth.”

Facing four years to life in prison, Lilly attempted to relay his experience regarding the death of his daughter from untreated rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare type of cancer of soft tissue (such as muscle), connective tissue (such as tendon or cartilage), or bone.

When the 3-year-old girl died, she had a 17-pound tumor in her stomach that comprised half of her body weight, according to the Oklahoma Medical Examiner. She also was determined to have been undernourished.

Under questioning by his defense counsel, David McKenzie, of Oklahoma City, Lilly shared how he and his wife, Bonnie Beth Mills-Lilly, 46, provided care for the girl after she’d eaten a large bag of Gummi Bears in October 2018. The girl developed constipation and became “fussy” and “erratic” in her behavior. The couple believed “Baby Beth” suffered from a blockage and it would pass.

Lilly’s wife didn’t like doctors and used herbal therapy and enemas in an attempt to help the girl. Lilly said she would get better and regress over the next month.

Lilly, who worked as a computer engineer for Comcast, told the court how the family of six children, he and his wife had come to live in an RV, traveling around the country. They’d sold their home and had been renting another. When they were made to move, the RV was purchased and the family traveled from place to place. He said he would work his eight hours a day in an office at the back of the vehicle, then drive to the next place and rest as well as leave in the family car to get dinner or supplies.

After seeing “Baby Beth’s” stomach swell to a “humongous” size shortly before Thanksgiving, it was decided to visit a pediatrician on Black Friday. The doctor said the girl needed imaging done to figure out what was wrong, Lilly said. He said the doctor tried to get them to go to another doctor or a pediatric hospital for imaging and diagnostics.

During cross examination by District Attorney Kyle Cabelka, Lilly admitted he’d gotten mad. He said he and his wife discussed what to do next. He said he wanted to take the chlld to another doctor and his wife wanted use herbal remedies.

“We thought there was a different path to a solution,” he testified. “We chose a different option.”

Cabelka noted that Bonnie Lilly had been civilly committed to a mental health facility twice in 2016 and once out, was virulently against going to doctors. Her husband agreed but disagreed with his son William’s testimony from Wednesday that she was “out of it” and “robotic” at that time.

Cabelka said it was egregious that Lilly let his wife talk him out of getting the girl medical care.

“You are a smart man,” Cabelka said, “You knew something was wrong with your daughter.”

Lilly answered, “Yes.”

When the doctor called Lilly a few days later, Lilly admitted to being mad the doctor didn’t follow through during the visit. By then, he said, it appeared the girl was doing better off and on.

Cabelka asked Lilly in what other aspect of his life he wouldn’t get a second opinion when he knew something was wrong. Lilly said he left it to his wife to conduct research. The district attorney asked if either of them had Google searched “child with swollen stomach who can’t walk.” Lilly replied he had not and Cabelka pulled the search up on his computer and projected the results: over 1 million results tying back to childhood cancer.

The family parked its RV near a herbalist’s home they knew, Pat Marquard, in Pennsylvania. Lilly said he believed the treatments were helping the girl. A week before Christmas 2018, the family made the three-day trip to Oklahoma, setting up at Pinnacle Peak RV Park across from Lake Lawtonka.

Lilly said he believed “Baby Beth” was suffering a malaise akin to the severity of a cold. However, the morning of Jan. 3, 2019, things took a turn. Her stomach swelled so much she couldn’t wear her clothes, the girl was in a diaper and under blankets in the RV. Lilly was in his office working when, he said, there was a commotion and he came out to find his daughter barely breathing.

“She was not doing very well at all,” he said.

Lilly said his wife was rubbing the girl with olive oil and cayenne pepper in an effort to stimulate her breathing. Her lips turned blue and it was decided it was time to call 911. Lilly testified 911 was called and he and his wife spoke with the operator who directed her to begin CPR on “Baby Beth” until help could arrive.

It took about 20 minutes for an ambulance to arrive to the scene and “Baby Beth” was taken to Comanche County Memorial Hospital. About 30 minutes after that, Lilly testified, Dr. David Darrigan and two police officers came to talk to him.

Lilly said Darrigan was confrontational.

“He looks at me, he calls me a really nasty name and says, ‘I hope you die in jail,’” Lilly said.

Cabelka asked Lilly what he would have done different in the care for “Baby Beth.”

“Knowing what I know now, we would have gone straight to St. Jude (Children’s Hospital),” Lilly responded. “If I had thought that was her best chance, I would have gone for that.”

“All it would take is for you to be a parent and take care of your child,” Calbeka said.

 “Yes,” Lilly said.

Jurors return at 8:30 p.m. Friday for jury instructions and closing remarks.

Bonnie Lilly is scheduled for the April/May jury trial docket for the same charge as her husband.