Removing gaslighting in schools for 2024

Gaslighting has been identified as one of the most misunderstood words of 2023, and after some internet research, I do not understand it, either. So rather than defining it, I will rely on the 1944 movie called “Gaslight” to illustrate its meaning. Reportedly, it’s the origin of the term, and it also stars one of my grandfather’s all-time crushes, Ingrid Bergman.

In the movie, newlywed Alice begins questioning her own sanity shortly after moving into her deceased aunt’s house. Despite her attentive husband’s efforts, Alice grows worse, eventually imagining noises in the attic and problems with the gas lighting. After several incidents of erratic and embarrassing behavior, she eventually accepts her mental illness. Her husband reluctantly agrees with her, and they begin to consider an asylum as the only answer.

Alice soon discovers, however, that her husband was behind it all from the beginning. He killed her aunt and married her for the inheritance. He hid in the attic and made the gas lighting malfunction. He intentionally isolated her from people and then used her artificial isolation as evidence of her insanity. Nevertheless, even when presented with undeniable proof of her husband’s deception, she struggled between trusting what she knew or the distorted realities seen in the gaslight.

Recently, many of us are experiencing something similar. Like Alice, we are conflicted about what we see in our country, state, and communities. Everything that once made sense is now confusing because everything has become politicized. Any honest attempt to navigate the culture wars results in hostility. We either do it wrong, or we fail to do it right enough. Normal people are caught in the middle and questioning their own sanity. This phenomenon has not spared Oklahoma’s schools, either.

The difference for public schools, however, is that none of this is new to educators. The COVID pandemic brought a lot of issues to light, and frankly, many educators were hoping to get some help. They have been battling some of the insanity being pushed into schools over the years. Instead of being pulled in as partners for solutions, however, your local schools and educators are attacked from both camps in the culture wars. As Oklahomans, we hear about this stuff, and we wonder if we lost our minds because the gaslighted images coming through our smartphones and cable television do not match what we see in that school on the corner.

As Oklahomans you know your neighbors, relatives, and friends serving in your local schools. They coach Little League and teach your Sunday school classes. They are just parents and educators trying to help kids navigate impossible mandates and conflicting laws. The gaslights continue to flicker, and they hear noises in the schoolhouse attic, but they do their best to keep the kids focused on what matters. Meanwhile, we wonder if someone is hiding up there or if we should just check into the asylum.

In the movie “Gaslight”, Alice almost trusted a false reality, and Oklahomans are in a similar danger about their local schools, but you know them better than faraway politicians or activists. Your local schools are not perfect, but they are not full of radicals or extremists. They stand on common ground every day based on Oklahoma values. We must enlist them as partners, not as enemies, but this cannot happen on a state or national level. It will only happen locally, among our own kids, our own parents, and our own educators. Where the sun shines and the gaslighting does not flicker.

Clearly, I failed to provide a definition for gaslighting, but I sure understand what Grandpa saw in Ms. Bergman. Maybe it’s just too complicated for a dumb Okie like me who still thinks Oklahomans can be trusted and enlisted as partners for Oklahoman values (not enemies). In my upcoming articles, I will focus on some practical things Oklahoma can do to help Oklahoma parents and educators. The first step will be to remove those old gaslight fixtures, so we can see our schools clearly in 2024. Happy New Year!

Tom Deighan is an educator and author of Restoring Sanity in Public Schools: Common Ground for Local Parents and Educators. Email: [email protected]