Domestic violence victim speaks out at Glow Walk

Most seniors in high school are preoccupied with college readiness, extracurriculars, classes and enjoying time with their loved ones.

But Taelyn Langford’s life changed when she became a victim of domestic violence.

A native from Minco, Langford has been a victim advocate for over 10 years and always hopes to be one. She was a guest speaker for the Marie Detty New Directions Domestic Violence Glow Walk on Tuesday.

She grew up in a home not well versed in domestic violence. None of her friends spoke about it and no one at her school educated anyone about it.

“I just truly didn’t know what domestic violence was,” Langford said.

When she was 18, she started dating her best friend.

“I really thought that I knew this guy and I could trust him,” Langford said. “He was a little bit younger than me and we went to different schools. We weren’t together all the time, but we did hang out together almost daily.”

It started with verbal abuse.

“He began slowly isolating me from my friends,” Langford said. “He would say, ‘You see them at school all day everyday, so spend extra time with me.’ I thought to myself, ‘Wow, I’m just so special he wants to spend extra time with me,’ but that wasn’t the case.”

Then he would stalk her through text.

“Domestic violence is all about power and control and he did not like it when he didn’t have it,” Langford said. “He would send me text after text, all day throughout the day, and even attempt to drive by my school and see who I was walking to class with or who I was going to lunch with. I honestly couldn’t wait to graduate just so I wouldn’t have to deal with that anymore.”

He continued to control everything in her life.

“He ruined my prom night, my graduation and my birthday just by the horrible things he would say to me,” Langford said. “I couldn’t post a picture online without him calling me names, body shaming me or just putting me down altogether. I also couldn’t wear certain things without him getting mad.”

In the beginning, Langford tried standing up for herself.

“While he was doing this, I was telling him that I wasn’t going to deal with it and that I would not stay with him,” Langford said. “I didn’t tell my friends or family what was going on, mainly because I didn’t know how to. Soon after that, things started becoming physical, escalating as domestic violence often does.”

Once she graduated high school, life didn’t get better.

“I was around other people less and around him a lot more,” Langford said. “(The abuse) became too much for me to handle and I accidentally blurted out one night that I was going to tell my mom what was happening. He not only threatened to kill me for the first time but he threatened to kill her as well. If someone threatens to kill you, take it as a serious threat. It means they were potentially thinking about doing so.”

She finally broke up with him, but he wasn’t done with her. When she came to his house alone to pick up her things, without telling anyone, he beat her. While he left to get something to beat her with, she took that opportunity to crawl to her truck, back out and head to safety.

“I kept thinking to myself, ‘If I don’t get away, I’ll never see my nephew again,” which is my favorite person,” Langford said.

After she came to her parent’s house, she felt a sense of relief: It was finally over.

“We made a police report and with officers who’ve arrived the next day. My mom helped me to file a victim’s protective order,” Langford said. “I got help from victim advocates from our local nonprofit program and they really helped. My parents took me and essentially put me in hiding at a family member’s house where he’d never been. Back at home, the harassment from him and his friends had started on my family. He stalked and harassed them for months which in turn made my parents keep me in hiding.”

“With a lot of therapy and support from my victim advocates, I was able to heal and become healthy again,” Langford said. “It did take me years, but with the help I did it. I couldn’t do it alone.”