Resilience is the key to raising mentally healthy kids

Resilence. That’s what it takes for children and adolescents to be successful in life, says educational psychologist Dr. Michele Borba.

The internationally renowned parenting expert kicked off Cameron University’s triennial academic festival, which carries the theme Care and Health: A Generational Approach, last week with a message aimed at parents, grandparents, teachers and anyone else who has the opportunity to impact the lives of the younger generation.

Borba shared that although today’s kids are the most well-loved and well-educated generation, one in three struggle with loneliness, depression, anxiety and fear.

“Today’s kids are going to need Resilience 101,” Borba said. “Resilience is the ability to bounce back, to keep on going and keep on handling life.”

Resilience is teachable, Borba said. She asserts there are seven character strengths that contribute to resiliency: self-confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, curiosity, perseverance and optimism. Fortunately, individuals don’t need to master all seven in order to become resilience.

Borba recommends assessing a child’s strengths to determine which of the seven to instill. Any combination of the characters traits will contribute to transforming a child who struggles into a happy, healthy, high-performing individual — or, as Borba refers to them, “thrivers.”

“The best way to teach kids is not by telling them but by modeling the skills you want to instill,” Borba said. She also said that kids respond to positive reinforcement, suggesting that parents avoid conversations about “what you did wrong” and instead focus on strengths and accomplishments.

In her book, “Thrivers: the Surprising Reason Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine,” Borba presents evidence-based information for each of the seven character strengths. For example, when it comes to self-confidence, she says, “Thrivers focus on who they are, not what we want them to become.”

Other “thriver” traits include the ability to think straight and self-regulate, demonstrating compassion, sticking to a strong moral code, thinking outside of the box, finishing what they started, and finding the silver lining.

Saying that one caring champion can change a child’s life, Borba closed her presentation by asking attendees to formulate an individual 21-day action plan aimed at building a thriver. In that way, we can all contribute to raising a strong generation of kids who are equipped to overcome challenges on their path to success.